When Infertility Makes You Angry

When infertility makes you angry.



I will lead with the fact that it took 3.5 years to get pregnant with my son. We have been trying for 2 years to get pregnant with a second child. It means nothing when someone who hasn't been in your shoes tries to speak on something they have never experienced.

I've been there.

I've been angry. I've been bitter. I've been completely disgusted at the world around me. I've seen how people around me who do not want more kids accidentally get pregnant over and over.

I've shed tears about it. I've yelled at the wall wondering why. I've been angry at complete strangers when they make comments about how their kid disrupts their life or was an accident.

When I see stories about parents who have killed their children, I've sat there angry about the injustice of it all. I would have taken their kid if they didn't want it! Give it to me!

But here's the thing, it doesn't help.

Holding on to all those emotions does nothing but make this whole process more difficult.

So, work through them. Let them go.

I'm not going to tell you about how my uncle's cousin's friend got pregnant when she just stopped worrying about it, because that doesn't correct the medical condition causing your infertility.

I'm not going to tell you to enjoy your child free life while you can, because that isn't the life you want.

I'm not going to say any of those offensive and insensitive things people constantly spout out to people struggling with infertility.

But I will tell you to let the anger go. We can't help what happens in the world around us, but we can help our reaction. It's okay to temporarily be angry for all of life's injustices. It's okay to have a bad day and let emotions out. It's not okay to dwell and live your life constantly angry at it all.

I do not know how you can do this. For every person it will be different and personal. For some it may be prayer, meditation, or exercise. Some may need counseling or to confide in a trusted friend. 

I know many of us are walking this path alone. You have kept your struggle with infertility from family and friends, and this can make things feel even more difficult and isolating. Finding one person you can trust may help.

There is also a huge online community of women you can connect with and remain anonymous. My favorites are YouTube, infertility boards, and Facebook groups (I have a separate anonymous Facebook profile just for connecting with these women sssssshhhh don't tell Facebook!)